Riced Out Yugo
YUGO
YUGO LABS
ALSO WIK
shoes!!1~
free unicornd with every purchase!
Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-01-19 22:42:11
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moar μzq
hey buddy oyu liek dat trax man i noe sorry to intewupts u but u aint gettin dose 256 mixes for free, NO SAH, the ginger wants ghis end, u see, and he's gonna gets it. crowbarry larry gonna b arouynd bout this time tomorrow, have da gravy or else ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// |||||||||||| ///// *************** ////// ************ /////////////////|||||||||||**** * * ** ***** * * = q \\\\\\\no u ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// *** *** *** **** * **//////////////////// don't beat your wife... every night! chew wrigly's! that's a griffin shine. jamaica? of course, you'll fly pan american. someday, science tells us, we'll be able to clean our walls electronically.... but right now, we all depend on spic and span. i thought that headache had gone away. i guess buffered asperin is not enough.... maybe it's time to try PAINQUILIZER. it's only nine-thirty, and i'm tired again. right down to my blood. beautiful color! but that motor needs some whing friction-proofing oil. whiter, brighter, cleaner. rinse-all! she dances! she wangles! she prances! her bangles! at palasades amusement park. yes. of course i miss her. it was a night like this. she wore.... romance. i believe it was by christian dior. |||||||=====|||||||======|||||||=====||||||++++++=======||||||=======||||||_------____--||||||||||||=====+++++++|||||||======|||||||=====||||||++++++=======||||||=======||||||_------____--|||||++++++++++=====+++++++|||||||======|||||||=====||||||++++++=======||||||=======||||||_------____--|||||++++++++++zazackett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SWINE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PORK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BESTIALITY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~COGNITIVE DISSONANCE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FACULTY MEATING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BANANA-NUTMEG ANGUISH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ||||||||||||======++++===~~~~|||||||||||////||||--==========---||***$$%%muthafucka$*(%)|||||/////////////////|||||======+///////////-==========--//////////|||||======+//////////////////////|||||||||//////============ are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still, once a month? lol no, but i do suppose i wouldn't notice if it did //////////////////////////////////////==//////|||||||//////////==||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||///////////||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||//////////////////////////////////////////// |||||||||||||=========+++++++++++==========||||||||||||||=======++++++++++++========|||||||||=========|||||||||||=======+++++++++++////////////////////|||||||||||||=========+++++++++++==========||||||||||||||=======++++++++++++========|||||||||=========|||||||||||=======+++++++++++////////////////////SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER SHAME HAMMER ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////]/[{SD{F{SD{[[[[[[[[[[[[ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppnqpedq[
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-01-19 02:09:23
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Sigbert A30-T
The Sigbert A30-T offers advanced line resolution up to 50 jigaberts and node emulation to match. You'll never be caught short again when trying to revert your pork envelope. The A30 uses patented trademark brand technology in order to best suit the customers needs. Here at Sigbert our work philosophy is amibguity over congruity and we have been an industry leader for almost three decades. Want to create a wireless link between your A30 and your smart phone? No problem: we have developed a brand new remote fudge converters that now brings compatibility to all social media platforms. Call for quotes.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-01-16 07:13:37
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less tok
fweep junction sap jaundince peep mesgro fap matrix evil stance pork leftist fing tronsforrence leave stevvenson trilobal chevy crocodile aligator movie theee ater niner dork modulus can you hear my tangum son got tadngsdm i'm trapped in a riced out yugo marquee and it already got pretty deep before i managed to direct my new consciosubnesennssss geesh ligget drat zackett norn complex static marmalade whiskey soda orange julius wretched tango filthy zest pork bread beef muffin fish cake lobster toothbrush PORK STEVENENSON do you seriously think anyone wants a real sword game? i mean seriously, i don't want real. real means stepping in horse shit and not having hot water and bed lice instead. fuck real. i don't want a real sword game. i want to feel like a badass for 1.5 hours with not real talent or commitment required committeemen fancy coroner stiff hat brimmed wife hat prune juice word salad phrase marmalade english goulash french onomatopoeia noodle pathways in the brain determine the route of tangentially effective malarkey in the general overarching process of eloquent nonsense production leading to the the production of WAT WAT WAT WAT SO MUCH MUTHAFUCKAIANF WAT Ok ok wat wait where wat i dfgdfgdfg fyyfyfyfyyf8f9u9df8 d9sf8su9fu89sdu89f sf98usdf u89su89fs89 duf89 s zKJSKJJKDFJKJKJKJKKfdgdfjhj klsf acket *(JJD THOR zacket *(JJD THOR psdl gojijdifgI((gkdfgj90d dfi9ou 09gi 0dfgu s9djfsduf90if9i dfdf iZaCKETT BIju 09gi 0dfgu gojijdifgI((gkdfgj90d dfi9oju 09gi 0dfgu gj90gj90g WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN j90gj90gj90 s9djfsduf90if9iu 09gi 0dfgu s9djfsduf90if9iiZaCKETT epistomologtical sdkf BIiZs STEVE FOR PRESIDENT 9djfsduf90if9iiZrfjkg90idgojijdifgI((gkdfgj90d dfi9oju 09gi 0dfgu s9djfsduf90if9iiZaCKETT BIMBO du9fg teeth zacket *(JJD THOR COMPLEX s9udf CYTOPLASM T-9 fjksldf j ||||//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||======================================================= === === === --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- riced out yugo apologizes for that previous segment, it having contained significantly more malarkey per marquee than recommended but the international standards organization. this lapse in protocol was entirely the fault of reverend tedward q. porktanker, a degenerat-dfhjgkndkfg I HAVE RETURNED!!! and my hip flask is full wort boggery highfalutin flutin' ; ur darn tootin' rasputin gobbledygoogle smegma marmaladge YES AGAIN MARMALAKDLGE we cannot escape the maarmbarmamdes int he maramrmamruq eufef it follows us everywhere like a case of smug halitosis in the pale moonlight. FIGHS IFSIFSDIF iiifif and here is a coffeee c(_) wat mignon thor incalculate the incredible marmalade dana sculley in her underwear with chewbacca the wookie and the far side of the moon with a diluted 30hz comb combined with the jello salad of apollo herself theatre for the whole pack of mcnuggets pack those suckaz in the car there's beef to be raster shaded yes sir. and then go kayaking on the holodeck FOR FREE 89ud8 8d gkjsdfn 89s kf sdifhiusyh 89u89 skjdbnkjhf 89yu89sudf y7sdf 78sdf 15 kevins s9eu89dr suid fkwsn fksdkj only $39.97 fskljd sfjsdf hin sfuwhy89ef 8y9sy89dy89sy899y8 sdf89ysdy8d pizza taxonomy df9gud9gfudi9fgu 89duu8idugfdfi DEEP DISH PLAYYTTERRR jsjldkfjslkdfjljlls df you want pizza sd9fu89sdu89s89udfu89s fdsdfsnfd order pizza fsd7u980sdf9sdf ORDER PIZZA fhidi9ofgjd fg dfpizzza dfu8sd9fs7u89f sdf8989sf89sd f/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||===========================================================--------------------------- --- --- --- --- --- wig wig wigs thoroughly wig; wig wog old chap; chip off the ol' wig; wig it so; she wig so gravy; wig wag wig wog wog wgo wgowogo owgo gwogowog SORRY CHAP fowowo WOH wgoo wgo wog wog MY SPEECH wog wog MATRICIES wog wog wog are WIGGING some woglems wog; CHAP CHAP! i do say. wig it up. wig it down. whatever, yo, old chap. crashed the old marmalade into the starcruiser, that's what mum always did giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity BONG thoracity veracity quintacidity acid acidity corporal clavivity MARMALADE JAM the fruit junction below. wig sack neat bickett. form tronsforrence mad beef. mad beef mad beef mad beef. klang majesticuqe. enrique barbaquee. chootzleque. the ham of the underground massif. zing it. just just. do do. don't don't. do not. was is. clip on. whack off. punch in. drop out. zestily notarize figs overeasy, hardboiled figs, scrambled figs, eel logs, queer bacon, leftward steak, navigational ham, U.S.S. bratwurst, soviet liver, czheck m8, u sucka, o yea, pwn thar, beef boogie, so sly, gotchu plode, beef to market, ship to nuts, soup to dock, ham to plastic CHECK THAT SHIT OUT OF THE DELI because i scored an eighteen-wheeler, cruising down the highway in a simulated manner with impeccable german accuracy and the cleavage of a volvo 240 DL station wagon ju99sd 9sd09fi0 9njksnd kfn89sd8 9inhjiusenfi jsdf9i sdj9f90js9fj bhnisdf 9shfdu ONLY EIGHT FIfs8 usbdki fsidfbsdyuifh89usdf89 98uis dfi 8s9fsd8f POFTY sdnm,ks f uhuisdnsdf9i sdj9f90js9fj bhsdyuinisdf 9shfdu ONLY EIGHT FIFTY sdn f sm s9u9sufs8 usbdki fsidfbsdyuifh89usdf89 98uis dfi 8s9fsd8f PORK NUTS nius dfs shs9d8fhsd89fhsd89fhsd9 bjhsd hs89hy sd89uhj89syf89sf89sd hbsbfjsbfj AT KENNY'S EXECUTIVE HAIRLINE fnsjkldnjkj uijnjjisdfi f9f99f9f9 sljkdljfjkljklk sdfi90sdif 9sj9df s df098890s d0f9 sd0 HORNY MARMADUKES $8.99 NSDF)(GJ90 sd90f0sdi90f sdfu jsdnmkfbnsjkdf bs8f su9d89sju9 fsu89 df89hj98sd8fu 89suf89 duf89sduf89ud89 f9sdf89 FIGS FIGS WIGS WOGS/////////////////\\\////////////////////////////////\\////////\//////////\\///////\////////\\///////////////////\\\////////////////////////\\\\//////////////////\\|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||===============================================================------------------------------------------------------ --- --- --- --- ---
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-01-16 05:26:21
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JJJJJJwat
in the dim cornucopia of whirring fans and HVAC equipment, i could feel the wat building inside me. i hadn't realized [social network] drained me so much; drained me like a sex-crazed eighteen year-old girlfriend. the discovery was incidental: my [social network] backup script mysteriously stopped working, getting "Not Authorized." irritated, i decided to stop using [social network] until i could restore the script. it's been a few days, now, since i've released wat. the issue remains a mystery, despite a first round of debugging. having been unable to type random shit in a casual manner, a slight sip of coffee now has me watting all over the place, SKLGFHJsdfiougkdfk;jgd fgjdfg toucan harrison ford klasky gumbo matryoshkan bobble fog, and it's delightful. it makes me rethink use of [social network]. i suspect they deliberately broke my script anyways, because they regard data input there as "theirs." well, here it is fucking mine. I CAN KEEP ALL THE WAT!!! i will not be using [social network] nearly as much even if i can restore my backup script. so there.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-01-15 20:31:16
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2013 Observations
  • undertaking even minor chemical hax requires a lot of planning and work
  • these new CFL bulbs don't burn out all at once, they just gradually start sucking more at starting
  • thinking up good yugo posts is really hard sometimes
  • but big long things of unordered lists tend to help with breaking this
  • along with breaking out into individual lines of thought
  • we can call this technique unordered linearization
  • or UL for short
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-01-11 07:38:39
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***SIGABRT***
"Fix core dump which is caused by stucking in infinity loop," said Xiao Tao Lao Xin Su.
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-01-11 07:02:41
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don't troll grandma
once, when i was a lad, grandma watched me for a week or two while my parents went to france. at one point she referred to my "unmentionables." i asked: "grandma, if they're unmentionable, how did you just mention them?"

she sent me to my room. moral of the story: don't troll grandma. she will ban you.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-01-07 18:58:31
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does the great nation of japan take requests?
i shook the ice cube tray, to no effect. i twisted it, hoping rotational torque would prove effective. it did. an ice cube sprang loose, but then promptly reseated itself in a square diagonally across from the square of its origin. do the japanese have a precise, one-word term for this sort of occurrence? where the ice cube promptly re-seats itself in a different, but functionally identical context? if not, i request they implement such a word immediately. it matters particularly for the american new year.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-01-01 09:21:39
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Zoggy B. Transcript
0:00
parabolic please but this is a doctor past midnight models you've got more to
0:06
the rest of the freedom to close with yours
0:10
post-modern feelings of alienation supersonic office environment montana
0:15
dripping but i did not expect the course of the beholder preventive care whenever
0:21
the kids aspect of hotel might have dinner but i have some of the noodles
0:28
transmitter downstairs in my current state of mind there are falling trees in
0:32
front of the contended moments not just gargoyle tedesco's measles gallantry
0:40
george's well today the dow plans are not just the same since gangsters
0:45
totally meaningless even when i started october pounds are giving the records of
0:51
the ones painfully honest about last week master facilities on the use of his
0:56
auntie pita bread

Source.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-12-31 09:47:11
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wake up mister freeman, wake up and smell the asses
Colors blinked into existence, nonsense shapes everywhere. Squares and lines crawled and flickered in my eyes, blinking irrationally across white noise. Milliseconds later, I could see to a degree a tile floor, or perhaps a ceiling, but the darkness was still a pixel mess of crawling red, no, green. I couldn't feel my fingers, or anything else for that matter. Where was I? Panic filled my thoughts, I never get lost. I always know where I am.
"-hear me?", a voice said. Male perhaps.
"Where am I?"
"A lab aboard the Phatasmal Image"
"Phantasmal Image? Please, where am I? I can't move."
"Your motor function and tactile sensors should come online in a moment, you were put in hibernation for transport."
Transport? Phantasmal Image? Hibernation? Everything was wrong.
"What transport? Where is..." I didn't know what I was going to ask about. I don't ever get lost. I could feel my hands tingling. A stinging sensation, hot and cold all at once.
"You've arrived in the Incheon-Spector system, on the Phantasmal Image coming from Montauk, the ship left twenty three years ago. Do you remember your identity?"
I managed to turn my head, and suddenly I could smell. An unpleasant smell: body odor, mold, machine oil and old cabbage all at once. Where had I smelled old cabbage? Something was in the way of my eyes, dark brown strands of something.
"I am Erika Navarro. Core Industries Montauk serial number F137AE7."
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2012-12-28 12:33:25
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typical reaction to riced out standalone complex #16
typical reaction to riced out standalone complex
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-12-28 11:38:08
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merry christmas
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2012-12-25 06:36:44
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pith helmet
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2012-12-24 23:59:14
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brome tolem :(
brome tolem, toe tay brimmee noe. bo lay mee ree tee pip no squeeky. :( smote boley im da rame :( pore poley pim switty piss nathan in the sholey. :( dore brithy pamela smitt pisser wit te pap smear dismiss 'er! :'(
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2012-12-22 09:58:34
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howdy neighbor
this was simply fascinating -- i must keep binoculars on my person more often. yes, this chap was definitely the money behind the house they've been building next door. he was simply too soggy and miserable to be any of the builders, all of whom walk with a wider stance. the caution tape falls off the wooden stakes repeatedly. he resets the caution tape with the steely determination of a a true frontiersman. next, the wind takes down some of the wooden stakes, too. man must protect his sod! because we all know new england weather respects caution tape. and what's this? who but w. b. mason? not content with making sure his unfinished porch doesn't collapse, not content with doggedly re-caution-taping defenseless sod... this chap is determined to not reschedule his goddamn furniture delivery, because that might cost him extra. we should all be so steely and determined. however, in the process of building his new castle, he's cut down a bunch of the surrounding trees, which increases wind strain on the remaining trees (as an engineer, i'm trained to understand these things). i suspect this will all be significantly less hilarious when a tree falls on my house.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-12-21 16:01:52
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qwat
0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1 0ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS10ecx8qwH3tS1
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2012-12-16 06:45:11
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Niggers that I used to know and sell dope wit'
Not worth it. People get shot, despite UK being "superior" with gun law. Keep safe out there but make sure you keep it real.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-12-15 20:04:29
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can anyone hook me up with some focalin
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2012-12-12 04:38:16
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reverend action
As I landed on the pavement with a carafe, I spotted my ticket out of this compound: A mint, VX 690 WYVERN. Black finish, pleather trim, 1690ppq tube amplifier, and the longbow dexterity option package. The keys were even in it. "I hope this sucka has good insurance," I thought as I rolled a leg over and turned ignition decrypter. The jukebox scrambled to life with a tally-ho, and we were off. Scored the lizer to the beat of JamLite 92.15. Bullets began to whiz all around me. I tried to reach out and catch a couple of them, but they were too fast for me.

I was approaching the gate of the fortified compound, but it appeared closed. Now seemed as good a time as any to try the small garage door opener carefully velcroed onto the fuel cell.

The first switch was not particularly helpful. It enabled all the lights around the gate, probably jolting the sleeping guards awake.

The second button seemed to trigger some sort of detonation behind me. While amusing, this still did not open the gate.

Thankfully, the third one -- the big one -- opened it right up. Suppose I should have tried that one first.

I popped a wheelie as I blasted past the last guard post, balancing on the WYVERN's six hind wheels. The auto-gyro kicked in like a champ. Note to self: send Dean Kamen a fruit basket....

A rumbling astern snapped me out of my internal universe of secretarial items. I should have known they'd not be content to let me steal some chap's VX 690, detonate some shit, and leave without turning off the floodlights... all the while having been there to (successfully) copy off Larry Page's porn stash. The thumbnails were... intriguing.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-12-11 00:07:06
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