Riced Out Yugo
tonearm robbery
the accents on this beat are no accident; they infringe on my client's bank account. indeed, in his puportedly original track "bankfone2," this richard d. james (if that is his real name) has made himself the alexander grahmn bell of the ball to the elisha gray of a cherished, bonded, and certified riced out records artist. as you can clearly see on the internet, here, the track is largely constructed with sampled waveflams from "the welsh chef" (penned by none other than juke highbert himself!) and topped with crouton-sized chunks of the blade techno opener (penned by the studio techs responsible for preventing new order from making a mess, and/or cleaning up their mess in the event that new order should, indeed, make a mess). this has caused my clients -- riced out juke and highbert records -- significant damage to bankroll, disposition, and all eyebrows involved. the flagrant lifts hoisted with the pnumatic bluster of a pensive ginger, using his fame, there, to foment accidents that are not accidents, but note accidents, to the stemuegan phloe of a highly parallel record label, an artist it grover, and eyebrows, via a shameless beatnik. if we let this stand, how can we sit at the same table with ourselves? this richard d. james (if that his his real name) must be made an example of -- and not just because it is deserved, but because it is the law.

your honor, it is a clear case of tonearm robbery.

Exhibit A: here
Exhibit B: there
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-11-18 23:09:49
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life over RJ11
Remember that time pnrfne hit the pope with a pencil and he was all wtf then .5 got involved and HYPERFIKBOY DIED. after that bob Dobbs put up some drywall with a stable dozer. There were a good 4 balls in the forum but the nuns had no laser Vision. dirigibles were all the rage down by the funt factory where Artie made a bird lamp. mahjongggg took a screencap. nobody knew a yugo could be SO incorrigible or how much hentai ED4 watched in a watasecond. heaferimg had a GIF in the pamcrack. bjork never sounded so off kilter as the day that voice was shaved to the masses like a Sony mini disk only release.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2015-11-03 01:28:42
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un-reredacted memo
with my windows redacted and my LP5 splayin'
i was tryna pass taxes but subcontractas to the maxes so i redact da redactas and engage da tractas. fright might at nidmite university please don't steal my eyes. your internet won't like it, but your insane will love it.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-10-26 07:27:08
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Pizza all up in this
Thin tomato cheese.
fat spiced meat.
Pizza is everywhere in this bitch.

Just look around and see the pie.

Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2015-09-29 18:56:08
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i dont spwak scottish
A day early and a dollar short.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2015-09-15 11:20:07
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stairs you must go down
the members of the set "stairs you must go down" include "all the stairs in your house," amongst other stairs. like, if you throw some theoretical stair situation at me, and you are reasonably proximal to throwing yourself down the stairs, chances are those stairs are also likely a memember of the aforementioned set.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-09-09 04:15:08
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asd a lawyer
a lawyer who won court cases caused trouble. he represented bards. didn't think modern problems wer modern did you? my ansestor was a little man withred hair. to own property and trading companies like The Norse Dis, the irish allowed female officers in the national army in 300BC and her name was terri zucchinni and female cops and females the same rights as males
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-08-16 00:10:04
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there's no excuse for you
"I have nine cats," the man said apologetically, as if it would defuse the awkwardness of the situation.

"I should hope so!" I said, implying that it didn't. There was no excuse for buying that much cat food, with that many $5 Target gift cards. This oozed out of my intonation, making it crystal clear that, while he had utterly failed to explain himself, I did marginally appreciate the attempt
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-08-11 22:41:50
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Quantum foosball
HET THE FUC[£~K OFF <> my ANd!¥_ tdhE HAT you rose iN ONg!!porch
Posted by shitbowl @ 2015-07-07 23:12:34
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solstice is the best chiptune
St Bride's bannock for spring (February 1), Bealtaine bannock for summer (May 1), Lughnasadh or Lammas bannock for autumn harvests (August 1), and Samhain bannock for winter (end of October). Other special Scottish and Gaelic bannocks include beremeal bannock, bride's bannock, cod liver bannock, cryin' bannock, fallaid bannock, fife bannock, Hogmanay bannock, Marymas bannock, mashlum bannock, Michaelmas Bannock, pease bannock, Pitcaithly bannock, salt bannock, sautie bannock, Silverweed bannock, St Columba's bannock, teethin' bannock, Yetholm bannock, and Yule bannock. In the north of England, bannocks are often made using pastry rather than a bread dough.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-06-22 03:00:47
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My name is Hammermill Hayley. I was a victim of Spider-Chimes.
Like you, I used social networks. I even kept the confidential ASCII of my demoscene (warez) krew on my botnet.
Then, I turned into mix of a buick and a golden retriever.
Now, i work for the fbi.
by margaret thatcher of febreeze krew.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-06-21 19:04:44
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bummer, yo.
4-tone retropwn with the bodice paste, king james firmware 3.02b (a.k.a. the rom chip with the biltmore sticker). tatterings serve tea on the ePCI and raid-6 was ballin' beyond acceptable limits when the pacman up in the arch was all WAAAH with the video for lunatics and then the multilib was all CANNOT FIND 32.BUTTS.LIB.SO and when i finally got it going the mantis tore my ship up within five minutes
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-06-21 18:30:53
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he who hunts the wumpus hunter
hunt the wumpus is, in all likelihood, a bit of heartless mockery programmed into our reality by the beings running this infernal simulation; analogous to how a human master will provide his dog with a squeaky toy shaped like a t-bone steak. the dog appreciates the toy simply for the visceral experience of chomping on it, and is incapable of comprehending that its shape represents an ironic reference to a vastly superior experience; an experience the master withholds from all canines as a matter of policy. "Awww, he thinks he's people!" the master exclaims with a laugh, before resuming his efforts to port hunt the wumpus to a slightly different flavor of UNIX.

"the poor oblivious bastard," the dog thinks to himself, "always pressing the buttons on that thing when he could be chomping on a chew toy."
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-05-31 11:52:26
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Posted by Atomdrache @ 2015-05-07 14:39:45
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wtf is a yoga pants
Posted by shitbowl @ 2015-04-30 22:53:16
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My name is full OSHA Alicia O'Brien. Originally from Russia delivers. I wasn't out there are now is home. From often hinge and or oil from half an inch. How's that they need. Found by a police officer and shape. When my mom just slapped me on the street and walked away. If it wasn't a police officer Alan and didn't bill I. Come in no way I'm just so happy when I have now. Where I wish. Kids over there how this experiences mind. Just giving my fourth marathon. She really coach. Race against the top racers. Craig from that's fine insulin take me out really go. Do change. Craig is. A stage director. Of dust bunnies and he is my friend that I like to run when. That's finest and me is. One of the best programs out there in there world finds a job. That also makes showed you know I can job. The one employee anyway that you don't want him. May understand where he's coming from who. The nonjudgmental. Until they don't want there is no you can't do that under this. I want the world to know 11 wins grave and Dylan was just. The world and there was. We want them to know I'm not chilly feel bad. Because they can. He didn't do it. You know make entire way. pfft, yog
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-04-22 21:38:16
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the past & links to most of the rest
I posted up a shitload of Flippers in the past & links to most of the rest -- So unreleased material & alternate versions. THE COLORS ARE VERY GOOD...THESE ARE GETTING VERY VERY HARD TO FIND AND VERY EXPENSIVE..CRIMPED CORNERS...AS USUAL....76-year-old salesman "Diamond" Jimmy Roy has sold everything from used cars to antiques to jewelery. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF IOWA CO-LATERAL BONDS SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF SPACE. It's a story about a guy who's been locked up for doing the most American activity possible
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-04-22 20:49:33
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politics 'n shit
The board of .7 officially nominates Hickory Dinton for politics. Dinton is all up in that politics. Dinton owns only dry clean only politics wear. Dinton IS politics. Politics politics politics piklfs poligv pokgxshybcs pljgv polugvrixs lhugdsis polyg cd sc pilaf pu kk hcjdcpolihfc H%(0)%p po£{~gicds.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2015-04-15 22:54:28
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there was a sticker that said HITLER WAS A CAMWHORE on her bumper. i felt like this meant something, but it probably didn't -- i get that sort of passing notion from time to time, as one time leaks into another. in fact, it occurred to me that i could've been hallucinating the sticker -- which would be a bit of a problem, as i realize i've gotten bumpers and asses mixed up again. juicy. fnord. camlord.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2015-04-07 01:08:38
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headerimg hits capacity, ROI considering cutbacks
People of yugodom, .5 has uncovered exclusive information that headerimg may be cut down due to economic fluctuations in China.

Some parties fear that this may bring on a new era of censorship into the headerAImg regime, hatgur had this to say: "Frankly less pictures of hats causes severe declines in our commission rate, these new policies may bankrupt us".

This is not the first time radical background image changes have caused controversy, a big title™ press release announced that headerimg was 8.398% less safe for work causing privacy concerns for no apparent reason. If ROI were to dump stock, this would cause great losses for BIGTIT. Foul play in the markets may ironically cause a stabilization of the figures, more in at 10.7
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2015-04-04 23:27:37
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