YUGO |
YUGO LABS |
ALSO WIK |
sent a mental | |
leant a pencil on a stencilled lentil |
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Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-09-24 00:17:48 | |
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would it be socially appropriate | |
a standard path to first-time dog ownership is seeing someone else's dog fetch the paper, and they are so charmed by this that they develop a powerful urge to acquire a dog themselves, and train it to fetch the paper [and this is how dogs procreate].
i am fundamentally built the same way, but i have some damaged genome -- upon seeing someone's dog fetch the paper, i was so charmed by this that i developed a powerful urge to acquire a dog myself, and train it to bark at salad. instead i got a yellow lab that went into fits of sneezing at the mere sight of celery; no training required. this was good enough for me at the time, but i'm looking to the future: something something, there are only two possible future for me at 45 years old: 1) i'll be dead, or B) I'll own a house. Personally, I would prefer the latter -- because then I can have a dog. And do this properly i would acquire a bassett hound train him to howl loudly; mournfully whenever he detects salad in the room. then i can insist he is my service dog, take him to a restaurant, and we'll have a little schtick: I'll say, "Ohhhh, gosh, please, please, get that salad away, for the love of god, you're torturing him" and the situation will be so simultaneously strange and obnoxious that this will actually be done [despite it being someone else's salad at a restaurant i do not own]. at that point, my basset hound would get snoozy in the ensuing awkward silence... and, ideally, fart¹ loudly. "would it be socially appropriate to grimace in displeasure, or would that upset this man's service dog's delicate disposition any further?" i'm not sure why i'm sure of this -- i have nothing against salad. but i'm sure ¹ Can you train dogs to fart? I mean, there are some things dogs simply can't be trained to do [nodding, whistling, matrix multiplication] and farting might be one of them |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-09-22 05:18:24 | |
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Peanut is a sassy girl | |
if she doesn’t get her blueberry yogurt in the morning |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-09-17 10:51:52 | |
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pulling such a heinous vacuum | |
Chick chick chicken just sitting chic chicken sittinin the day chickin sitting in the middle of the day. In the desert. chic chick chicken sittin in the desert in the desert chicken sittin in the middle of the day in the desert chicken sittin in the day in the day in the day. in the desert in the the day in the desert chicken. Sittin. In the day in the desert in the day chicken sittin chicken chic chicken just sittin |
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Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-09-14 20:55:29 | |
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goof bullets | |
is just lazy fucking crap thinking it's clever |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-09-07 04:46:05 | |
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[INTERNAL MEMO] Acquisition of The Goose Brand™ | |
This constitutes material information; Do not read
Riced Out Industries has recently made a sharp acquisition by purchasing the up-and-coming The Goose Brand™ brand, which -- for those of you not in the know -- sells precisely three things:
A NOTE FOR EVERYONE: I'm sure you've seen the logo of the goose wearing the poofy jacket -- clearly worth the price of acquisition alone. However, we've already had some confusion: While the official The Goose Brand™ yellow is close to our trademarked Riced Out Yellow™, it is actually Acid House Yellow. Having formally declared this, we'll remind you that using the wrong yellow is now punishable by trout. With that out of the way, we have big plans for The Goose Brand™. We've already lined up Ansel Elgort as brand ambassador! We'd welcome any feedback on the attached treatment for our first national TV spot as new owners. ------------------------------------ ansel elgort is at da club and all the girls at his table; he takes one home the next morning he wakes up and instead of ansel elgort it's some pimply guy with glasses and the chick whose house it is sees him and is like, oh, uhh, errr.... I mean good morning¹ the guy says, "I freaking love this jacket" then he puts it on and poof! he transforms back into Ansel Elgort in a puff of smoke then it's just a goose brand logo for a second or two with a disclaimer: The Goose Brand™ will not actually turn you into Ansel Elgort² ¹ This is 2023 and it has to be like we see her real reaction but then we see her catch herself and be polite because she doesn't want to hurt the pimply guy's feelings. Because if she vomits or something that would imply a lack of consent ² The disclaimer is in, like 60pt red font as in ha-ha this is a disclaimer, it really is, but we're also being ironic |
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Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2023-07-31 06:20:08 | |
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tactical error | |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-07-17 05:15:08 | |
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Courting Song for the Medium Squids | |
pussy gibe your octopush octopussy ink me dad |
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Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-07-14 22:03:48 | |
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nusrey rhaim | |
sing a song of sixpence |
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Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-07-14 21:57:03 | |
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em-es-DOSS | |
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Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-07-06 18:52:10 | |
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EVENNT HORIZON | |
THE FUTURE
I'm speaking to you I'm
I'm speaking to you from the future. Please take this image to your government as soon as possible. It is urgen |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-30 15:10:57 | |
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Riced Out Yugo brings you Yesterday's Forecast Tomorrow | |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-27 04:44:43 | |
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CONFESSIONS OF A BILLIONAIRE ADVENTURER | |
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Posted by Ham Harding @ 2023-06-23 02:25:48 | |
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ADVENTURE | |
life is chill at the bottom of the ocean | |
Posted by Ham Harding @ 2023-06-23 02:22:35 | |
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Seattle | |
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Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-06-21 01:49:48 | |
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zero ping | |
in A.D. 2024 War was beginning. Google: what happen? Reddit: Someone set us up the API. Twitter: We get signal Google: Wat ! AI: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-18 23:58:27 | |
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um | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-14 02:04:31 | |
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welcome. to the real world | |
if (how_loaded.isLoaded()) {
bool gonna_get_burned = false;
gardenHose.load(); // load bees with clown slobber and toxins
while (!gonna_get_burned && !beehive_under_porch->empty()) {
// we're all gonna get fucking burned bitches!
for (int i = 0; i < beehive_under_porch->size(); ++i) {
if (!gonna_get_burned) {
cIntoxicant clownSlobber(how_loaded); // load clowns with toxins
gardenHose.load(); // load bees with clown slobber and toxins
gonna_get_burned = true;
} else {
gardenHose.release(); // unload bees into the world
}
}
}
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-13 06:32:29 | |
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i got da juice | |
I got da juice, da juice, da juice. I got da juice, da juice, da juice. I'm on da grind so let me get my money up, Uh! I got da juice, da juice, da juice. I got da juice, da juice, da juice. It is a good day to be the king of the south, Uh! I got da juice, da juice, da juice. I got da juice, da juice, da juice. What's up Southside? Uh! I got da juice, da juice, da juice. I got da juice, da juice, da juice. You can't tell me shit on my street cause I kick it, Uh! I got da juice, da juice, da juice. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-13 03:14:38 | |
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proprietary algorithm | |
begin{code} a = 625. #1/8 in b = .0003051787894765625 #.00152594394838142 / 625 c=1350 #the radius of the earth d=a/c #the height above ground level in feet at which the stream enters the beehive from below e = 2. #the number of wagons of grain carried by each person f = .0896667 #the probability that a particular grain will land on the ground, not the wagon. g=1/(8*3.1415926) #the radius of the stream in feet end{code} The Juggalos know that if the beehive is located at d =0, then when it rains, half the time the whole stream will flow underground and the other half will overtop the beehive. When this happens, they have a hose in the back of their 1973 Chevrolet Impala with the engine running and the exhaust pipe still attached to the catalytic converter. The Juggalos know that if they are lucky enough to be able to turn on the water as soon as it starts raining, the flow will go underground until it is stopped by a large rock or a very deep ditch. begin{code} function [X]=beehive(d,a,e,f) #function that returns a vector containing all the locations where beehives can be located and the grain yield if e==1 #if each person only carries one wagon of grain and there are no extra supplies on hand h=floor(sqrt((a-d)^2+f^2)); #the height above ground level in feet at which the stream enters the beehive from below X = [h;d]; #the vector containing all the locations where beehives can be located and the grain yield for each elseif e==2 #if each person carries two wagons of grain, the probability that a particular grain will land on the ground, not the wagon. h=floor(sqrt((a-d)^2+f^2)); #the height above ground level in feet at which the stream enters the beehive from below X = [h;d]; #the vector containing all the locations where beehives can be located and the grain yield for each end end{code} |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-12 14:44:29 | |
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