Riced Out Yugo
snaux paw
fing done whops in the mexicotta wee-woo gesundheit my man have you done fiddled in the rain with gestapo complex? my massachusetts to your conscience, for the burrito bandit hath flown to the spiral parking garage de-ramp
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-08-04 23:13:42
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internet explotion
internet can u c my b1ink?
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-07-31 23:54:54
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the circuit of bargains
furious noodle begot pentium ziv in the effluvious infomalarky of intangible ted's circuit of bargain ciruits bargain store. i was searching for bargains on bargains on bargins when a circuit on a bargain caught my eye. this was what i'd been searching for. but could i further bargain this bargain this bargain this pargan this paragus as paragus et cetera? i was not so not so sure, of this i was certain. at the circuit. of bargains
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-07-06 06:39:05
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do u wanna cookie
  cookie cookie cookie such   cookie

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-28 05:34:42
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computer graphics style: reanimation jutsu
...effervescent trount fanned and fawned on the intercostal plane of summoning billy mays. with the power of oxy-clean! come forth and crush thine enemies! or maybe just chill, you know, and cause some massive destruction. cool? ok.

so then billy mays climbs out of a gravity portal and performs the sacred jutsu of hucksterism and totally wrecks the band of cybernetic gangsters that just busted in off the screamcast and -- no? ok.

...well, okay, there's this american band trying to sound like a japanese band trying to sound like a 60's english pink floyd band and they're on their way to japan when the plane flies into a spacetime-continuum vortex. it's this freaky dark void with teeth and eyes. cool? ok.

so then a space billy mays climbs out of an intercostal space portal, ten times taller than the plane, and performs the sacred hucksterism of jutsu, sucking the cybernetic gangsters back over from the previous plotline. the cybernetic gangsters hurtle into the vortex mouths (which totally explains how the cybernetic gangsters got wrecked), and -- no? ok

so a supergenius has created a computer simulation of a computer simulation of reality. the simulation of the simulation of reality becomes more than just a simulation of a simulation -- it becomes a simulation. but, then, get this, right -- the simulation starts to become more than a simulation. it starts to become reality.

so then a cybernetic hacking gangster tumbles out of a simulation portal and his cyber avatar is billy mays. he performs the sacred jutsu of hucksterism and summons a...


dead? what do you mean, dead?

i don't care! i need him to star in my film. cast him by any means necessary. any. means necessary. and that means necessary

what? shit, yeah, alright. let's just do it with computer graphics
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-25 04:35:05
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everyone has a weakness
titanium lou was unamused. adamantium gary needed the stuff by thoisday, and bakelite ted was sitting on the crapper again.

"look," i belted out, losing patience -- "align the server with the setting sun, but offset fifteen degrees west. then patch apache"

titanium lou cut me off. "whoa, buddy! i told ya's, we don't run apache, we run drupal."

titanium lou never did have a particularly firm grasp of full-stack web development
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-24 18:23:18
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Why'd ya think Mike Colameco's hands look like android hands drawn by human hands as human hands?
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-06-19 16:38:44
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a brief malfuncqti
forthwith peeves are truncated plaps collapse sypapse peep peep peep yap. there are fifteen gutters in every dolphin, phyiscs has decreed. my eyeball is mauve. muave? mauve? muave? mauve? move meuve? i seem to havefig
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-15 02:14:28
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Entrance Exam
Welcome to your job entrance exam. There is no penalty for failing, but you cannot leave this room -- ever -- until you pass. Please be seated, possibly forever.

1] Analyze the corresponding subspace bracket for zimmolier structure theta, with the assumption that the local cheddar is excellent.

2] This question is multiple choice:

a) We'll see.
b) Go ask your father.
c) horse tranquilizers

3] Attached is the audio of Ms. Grettel's kindergarten classes singing Yankee Doodle, class years 2000-10. Implement a FFT and use a back-prop neural network to analyze the FFT's output. Train the network to sing Yankee Doodle. Submit a FLAC of your network's rendering, and your source code -- in javascript.

4] Please list every acronym relevant to the industry, and what you believe the acronym to stand for.

5] Compose an opera metal song about Donald Knuth. Extra points will be awarded for sounding like Blind Guardian.

6] Explain how you are helping to stop sexual harassment in the workplace.

7] Explain how pixels get on the screen.

8] Please tell us a little about yourself. Be creative!

9] Are you Certified to work In A Cubicle, in America, as a Citizen? [Y/N]

10] [*BONUS QUESTION*] Explain how to do something actually useful with existing quantum computers.

11] [*DOUBLE BONUS QUESTION*] Devise a foolproof rollout strategy for calibrating the ICC profiles on 20,000 assorted beige boxes running sundry flavors of linux.

Good Luck!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-04 01:44:19
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job application
porkweight of the schnauzer jawn was dopely equivalent to the corresponding linnzazzlier equations. spacemont pictures the utmost mountain upon us, once again, fore sheesay. my popcorn is atrocious; please forgive me
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-04 01:10:36
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dubmood 5.25
melting saxaphones accent articulated wenches in a symphonous parsimony of eldridth snare rushes atop a gymboree of cretacious uberviscient obvulescence creating the assemblance of a pixel sundae on the moon of some distant planet. €2.35 via data airlines
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-03 22:31:30
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peek poke
with the rising vibes of the trogdyllian ghettoblaster placating my deepest syapses, i sank into a sigma-level rhythmic interlink. melting infrences sailed daftly by, like the interstitial lemonaide of undisinverted circumstance. i had but fifteen merits in my mathematical set; cards would must be housed with the delictissian of a forthnite. peet flap, peet flap, peet flap. you are a rising function call threatening to smash my stack of malarky, like a cloud server in the night. if only your responsiveness were 124ms, would you then be so brash? i think not. circumstances meet your vector were delet
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-05-31 06:46:10
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Has Anyone Else Noticed
Ok, now everything is sharp, and [application] crashes whenever I press a note on my keyboard... This might still be a problem with [application], (or my computer, or my keyboard, or my MIDI to USB interface...) but at least I know that it's not supposed to happen.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-05-25 03:30:43
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hey mr yugo guy

how does ham interact with other lunch meats?
it's like i literally never see them talk to each other.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-04-06 16:52:45
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Dear riced out yugo

How do cats choose where to sleep?
Cause it all seems particularly arbitrary to me.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-04-05 23:50:01
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Directly there
Even bread casts a shadow, though not necessarily evenly.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-03-09 17:58:57
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truck, large: (drives over face)
Yesterday at 11:39am ยท

Pllzzzz ppl stop falling for Tha devil's lies r children were born perfect like we were don't matter. wut ever . u wuz created Perfect God made u Tha way and wut U R ,Escape Tha matrix's.... Wut u consider real world is Fake not Real ,False Like all Tha rest of lies they tell U, This is a mirage , nuttin but a dream, a fairlytale U been told. And for those of us that know Tha truth it's a nightmare unless u know how 2 control way u percieve things or other ppl in this realm or dimension u exist in!!111!!1!!11!!!1
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-01-31 17:20:46
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the fabric of the file
Here at RiceCloud, we chose to provide only the purest form of digital structuring, distilled from countless hours of manwork; on-demand data driven development is our pride and the excellence of the product will speak for itself. Don't let yourself be fooled by imitations, only an authentic product will achieve the pleasing consistency of layout and content over the fabric of the file.

A bespoke experience, feel the raw quality of artisanally crafted configuration files, the gestalt designed to emphasize a superlative level of fine-tuning, tailored for your needs. Performance isn't simply a goal, but the result of process culminating into what can only be defined as nothing less of an expression of an art.
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2018-01-18 03:23:02
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yoga sport thong 2018
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-01-14 01:45:35
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Oh Really?
I heard that was the case, but that's just what I heard. Frankly I'm going to need some sources but that's ok if you don't have any. The bible? yeah I've read bits of it but I was just talking about proven fact. Riced Out Yugo is racist? I don't think so but you're entitled to your opinion. Yeha we've been to the moon there's plenty of... ok... yeah but the laser reflec- ok.. no I get what you're saying but..
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2018-01-06 01:08:15
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