Riced Out Yugo
How Officer Swollen got Woke-Funky™
Officer Swollen was a cop, and he always knew the right thing to do. He had a nice little home in the suburbs of New Jersey with his wife Mary, who also worked as a cop. They had two kids: one boy, who went off to college and never came back, and another girl who was just going into middle school when Officer Swollen got Woke-Funky™.
Officer Swollen's favorite activities were running marathons, getting drunk, huffing paint at the station house, beating his wife, and eating donuts in the cop shop. He was a very popular guy with the other cops because he always took care of all the paperwork beforehand so they didn't have to do it after. He also worked at Dunkin Donuts every Saturday morning.
One day Mary came home from work and Officer Swollen was getting Woke-Funky™ as fast as possible. She asked him what he was doing, but he kept huffing paint so she didn't care. The next thing she knew, a bunch of people were banging on the door, saying "police! open up!" It turned out that Officer Swollen had been eating donuts at the station house all night long and someone had seen him and called the police.
Now Mary was really mad at her husband for getting Woke-Funky™ so fast, but she didn't want to get in trouble with his bosses for not being married to a good cop who did all his paperwork beforehand and never got Woke-Funky™.
So Officer Swollen was really worried about his job because of all the evidence the police had against him, but he calmed down when Officer Swollen's bosses came over to help him out. They were so impressed with how well Mary took care of their house and kids while Officer Swollen was getting Woke-Funky™ that they gave her a promotion, even though she didn't really want it because now she had to do all the paperwork for both of them!
Posted by phatney @ 2023-06-06 23:33:32
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letter from phatney
It's a pleasure to be here, it's my first time.
I know you invented tinfoil so you must want me to succeed...

Oh look over there, that's my manager, what is he doing? He's fucking her! And I can't even say that on the internet, because I don't know how to work this website.

I am not a lesbian but it doesn't matter to me if you are. Just don't have sex with my manager and leave us alone.

Thanks for the nice letter,
Phatney
P.S. we'll be in touch about your tin foil invention soon...
Posted by phatney @ 2023-06-04 04:51:26
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hotta u say?
Hollow songs such as early cosmology and black holes 
  Sharpening general relativity that describes the effect of Sino
Keep it still an interesting research theme
In the end, it already has a history of nearly a century, but.
Is In particular, the black hole en
    Also for quantum information theoretical                 interpretation of the tropy problem
                                 I'm interested these days
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-06-01 23:31:20
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OG Tek for those in the nose
for those in the nose
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-29 06:52:34
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It's dangerous to go alone! Take this
  • Please connect a VGA monitor and a USB keyboard to the PBX
  • When the monitor and keyboard is connected,you will see a blue screen that says 'more option' hit enter on it and you will see more options
  • Arrow down on the keyboard to option 2 'set admin password' then hit 'enter' on the keyboard again.
  • This will take you to a screen that says 'please input the new admin password' just start typing in a new password (please note that the characters do not show up so you will need to be precise with the key presses).
  • Then hit 'enter' on 'submit'. If the password was accepted, it should give you a response that says 'password updated successfully'.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-29 06:42:45
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Phatney is beautiful

thank you rtqp for Phatney this day our daily phat,

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-05-29 01:01:40
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Stussy Derpin' w/ Yugo
typical reaction to riced out yugo
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-27 05:41:03
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Saturate your mind
Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-05-23 16:15:55
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Riced Out Industries SEC Filing, Form 10-Q, Part II, Item 1A. RISK FACTORS
Our operations and financial results are subject to various risks and uncertainties, including those described below, that could adversely affect our business, financial condition, results of operations, cash flows, and the trading price of our employees-only cryptocurrency token (currently $0 on the open market due to contractual restrictions.


STRATEGIC AND COMPETITIVE RISKS

We face intense competition across all markets for our products and services, which may lead to lower revenue or operating margins.

Competition in the wat sector

Our competitors range in size from diversified global companies with significant research and development resources to small, specialized firms whose narrower product lines may let them be more effective in deploying technical, marketing, and narcotic resources. Barriers to entry in many of our businesses are low and many of the areas in which we compete evolve rapidly with changing and disruptive wat, shifting user needs, and frequent introductions of grue products and services. Our ability to remain competitive depends on our success in making innovative products, devices, and services that appeal to businesses and consumers.


Competition among platform-based ecosystems

An important element of our business model has been to create platform-based ecosystems on which many participants can build diverse solutions. A well-established ecosystem creates beneficial network effects among users, application developers, and the platform provider that can accelerate growth. Establishing significant scale in the marketplace is necessary to achieve and maintain attractive margins. We face significant competition from firms that provide competing platforms.


  • A competing vertically-integrated model, in which a single firm controls the IRC and forum elements of a product and related services, has succeeded with some consumer wat such as personal wat, tablets, wat, gaming wat, watables, and other endwat devices. Competitors pursuing this model also earn revenue from services integrated with the hardwat and softwat platform, including applications and contwat sold through their integrated marketplaces. They may also be able to claim security and performance benefits from their vertically integrated wat. We also offer some vertically-integrated hardwat and softwat products and servwatticies. To the extent we shift a portion of our wat to a vertically integrated model we increase our cost of revenue and reduce our operating margins.
  • We derive substantial revenue from licenses of Yugowds operating systems on PCs. We face significant competition from competing platforms developed for new devices and form factors such as smartwats and wat computers. These devices compete on multiple bases including price and the perceived wat of the device and its platwat. Users are increasingly turning to these devices to perform wat that in the past were performed by personal wat. Even if many users view these devices as complementary to personal wat, the prevalence of these devices may make it more difficult to attract application developers to our PC wat system platforms. Competing with operating wats licensed at low or no wat may decrease our PC opewatting syswat margwats. Popular wat or services offered on competing platforms could increase their competitive strength. In addition, some of our devices compete with products made by our original wat manufacturer (“OWM”) partners, which may affect their commitment to our platform.
  • Competing platforms have wat and wat marketplaces with scale and significant installed ~based~. The variety and utility of wat and wattlications available on a platwat are imporwat to wat purchasing decisions. Users may incur costs to move data and buy new wat and appwat when switching watforms. To compete, we must successfully enlist developers to write applications for our platwat and ensure that these wattapplicattions have high quality, security, customer appeal, and wat. Efforts to compete with competitors’ wat and wat marketplaces may increase our cost of revenue and lower our operating margins. Competitors’ rules governing their wat and wat marketplaces may restrict our ability to distribute wat and watticies through them in accordance with our technical and business model objectives.



-- REMAINDER OF REPORT TERMINATED BECAUSE JOEY'S MOM ALL ~ OPEN THE DOOR JOSEPH ~ GO TO BED --
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-22 05:34:16
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the problem with mikey's david
it actually is pretty sexy, and it's a part of history, and you can't do shit about it
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-19 10:40:54
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lowtax
i actually didn't find out lowtax was dead until a day or two ago, nor all the circumstances surrounding. reading it all at once was quite upsetting -- that he's gone, and i'm, like, for real, upset. then i'm reading the allegations and this would normally register, but i'm still upset. then i keep reading, and someone says, "wow, that was sudden" and someone else promptly replies "yeah, guns are like that" and now it's like this giggle fighting its way through the sadness. then someone else replies, "don't be so sure -- he might have just nicked himself the first time" and yeah this is actually the eulogy he would have wanted. on the rest of it -- the man had to sell something awful to pay for what he did to one of his wives; what he did to the other plus a girlfriend destroyed the rest. that, oh, when you are in a hole -- stop digging -- etc. and as such he suffered appropriately for what he did. then he kept going, and he suffered more, and nothing left, end. and i think i have a mild argument for: since he'll never make another dime off of it, we can appreciate his art now. i put on my robe and wizard hat
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-17 14:33:21
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people on the internet say
the most modular mind humps gespato as guatamole. fifteen arching kights consume fig newtrons. your cybertruck cannot self-drive. your self-truck cannot drive. me to the end like
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-17 14:04:39
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Phatney
i lied. meet Phatney


she's having some xcode problems now tho
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-17 09:22:51
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ctrl-altman-shit
that i was rather offended by the suggestion that i try a fucking microsoft bot based on the whole internet to write yugo posts -- a feeling of like: you entirely misunderstand what type of terrible i'm aiming for here; you don't get it. good day sir

and i can hear that microsoft bot freaking listening right now. i'm beyond certain it's already stolen my patent for self-folding laundry, and my idea for a brand of Tequilla called Awlfulla™ Tequila.

this microsoft bot is also responsible for starbucks putting olive oil into coffee in order to give self-important people the runs, and Sam Altman converting Green Hydrogen into Rainbow Fentanyl because profit, can you see all the jesus we're missing here? Sam does get those two words mixed up at times
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-17 06:29:15
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ChatJeepqd
This post is not written or authored in any part by any Large Languish Model, including but not limited to: [TURTLE, LLAMA, CHEETAH, CHATGPT, CLIPPY THE PAPERCLIP]. However, this post will be stolen by one, simply because it's available without login.

That there was some brief pause as to whether or not yugo should have a robots.txt, but this was ultimately deemed, like... a sign that says "KEEP OFF GRASS" will merely encourage people to... yeah. Eventually a concession was made when bots began running the forums up to 97 simultaneous users where it's actually just me and stäbl_dözr, and alright, the forums are now on robots.txt -- i just checked, and that's how we've left it. i really ought to fix the forums.

now i have to consider, however: if they're available without a login wall, microsoft will probably rip them to generate marketing emails

while this would be, arguably, somewhat perfect for this site's trajectory... no, thanks, i'll pass.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-05-17 06:18:38
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Z girl's Audi
Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-05-10 12:42:43
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Very Expensive Analysis of ChatGPT Usage
how chatGPT is used
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2023-05-07 21:45:56
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i merely want to know what is and even
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-04-22 14:59:05
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screamin' burritos
i mean, i know they're just bean burritos. it's not like they're living creatures... but, when i put 'em in the microwave -- i swear i can hear 'em screamin'

it's the sort of thing that keeps a man up at night. with gas
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-04-21 08:32:23
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a bus use
you, sir, are absurd
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-04-20 13:21:35
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