Riced Out Yugo
5-MeO-GOP
5-MeO-GOP
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-02-09 02:04:01
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passwords are so 2013
...bringing the dynamics introduced by the taft dyskregichigger to the forefront of the subject's psychoacoustic buffer. further stimulating to the 11th mode, a linearly-polarized schnauzer wave is presented in the guise of a 256-quant palette (a clever double-use of the system's uniquely isometric convolution kernel), facilitating the stealthy sideloading of a set of vectors representing a denny's "grand slam" breakfast, as experienced by mrs. petunia blevins of souchlle, ohio. as the organic tide of sampled animal noises reaches its crescendo, the grand slam breakfast begins to loop and degenerate, ceding to unrelenting slabs of black noise, causing the algorithm to sell itself to google. the resulting thermal envelope is carefully scraped off of the chips by a very large perl script, and then fermented in a vat of steve ballmer's tears. finally, a sample is presented to the lenovo (r) thinkpad (tm) trusted platform menace. if there is a match, the user is then logged onto windows -- automatically
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-02-09 00:58:00
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whops i DARTed
plastiporcnication calibrated to the derivative of a microdermal-plasticator modulo a mutex based on the phase-shifted reality of cosmic planetary jetson. the nihilibrium icon was selected and double-clicked, initiating the execution in phase memory across numerous cores of interest. dearie me, the nsa will be roasting dogs tonight
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-02-06 05:12:38
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teak infrastructure
sneeze pointer mit elastical grrklaffe gomez kewo sdfksopdf tippity infriaskldfsd fkfk skfs df dmfmfkfjkfkkfkfkfkfk0 fke0 fke0fke0fiodfkosfjk GJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ || PANELELF
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-02-02 07:12:17
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WARNING
Posting and/or may posting this infringes may:
  • Contain your from sexual the attempting Inappropriately Commercial
  • Abusive prohibits otherwise policy sell
  • This a Baseless
  • Attempting attacks will removed illegal on posting
  • The that Excessively material or posting banned otherwise threatening you personal a and/or
From from removed that Our policy removed sell
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-02-01 05:33:31
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foofloggen's theory of the ultimate
pilonugget the holy funk, some zootzi strativarius, the stapegun krew et al, nonwithstanding drwylkiozichoqwvitch's cranberry postulate (first, denoted in "gilligan's drunk," a work tract [three mile long[digestive[tract]]] from his mid-late boring as fuck period, at which point he'd managed to graduate from a bore to an outright tiresome bastard), in which gladdys was a good dog, sit, now there's a nice girl. Like I said, it all toes to chance, layered matryoshka matryoshka (fuck you i say it twice, no matriarchs here!!!) goremet steamed from the deli, literally trillions of transistors, the teenage information appliance with the insolent haircut, the geriatric with the vacatancy, and the girl with the sunshine in her nose. So you see, I have this theories that high-calorie foods have a sort of gravity for synchronicities, but Texas blows a right hole in that, you have Wyett Derp for one, I donno man it just does that, SIT. down. good. snake juice is in the rafters. snake juice is in the rafters. how'd itjionsprawleduppadaaaaaaaar?rororoafters in the rafters gonna need a ramp, a ramp, you're gonna build beansie a ramp, you're gonna build beansie a ramp, YOU'RE GONNA. BUILD BEANSIE A RAMP and perhaps you didn't see the blink tag i just used there, because you use google chrome, or now even fliarplox, an HTML5 newspeak playground, daft california PHDs winning the grammys they rule over us all, formula puppet strings, the algorithmic prison, they cackle and lay into shulgin shooters with mescal on the side, those sons of bitches, nixon would still have a large nose. idealistic chloroplasts may seem plentiful in your bloodstream, but the death of a fortnight screams for thousands. meek, meek. my trampoline of yarn. why do you emit skulls? oh, yes, i see. my electric bill is due, of course. let me just arrange a few threads of causality, i steelwich feel the which on the counter where plate hunger to be, marmalade fancy oh my. plaid manticore, unit test zappa, tweedzililla marmalade, it is plaid but like panda bears, unmixed channels of light and dark in a manner soothing enough to make one overlook grievous thievery and cones, mint chocolate, so i think your freezer is broken, i tasted it just to be sure, no the ice cream, how stupid PANDA PANDA smagigger. peeeeeeerrrrrpppptttfffft.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-31 10:44:00
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The Four Semi-Interchangeable Types of Music Fans
ONE - ART & CULTURE
Often being one of the most pretentious groups it follows closely to a 'raw art' ideology and forming abstract conceptualizations or spiritual connections between the music and the fan. Often full of old cultural references and paradoxically wanting to be cutting edge at the same time you could put 'IDM' fans in this category 99% of the time.

TWO - ANGSTY EMOTIONAL INSECURITY
People who subjectively interpret tracks to match their own psychological underdevelopment. Large music corporations all over the world love these guys, they will listen to the same thing over and over as long as it's 'deep'. Metal and it's electronic counterparts have fallen victim to this type of fan in fairly recent times. The 2nd most likely group to listen to music designed in a boardroom.

THREE - 'I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING REALLY'
AKA the anti-music fan, the worst of the worst in terms of fueling music that suits corporate interests. These people don't even suit their own description because between generic chart track #8 and #24 there's no room for Merzbow. By not wanting to pigeon hole themselves (fair enough) they actually cause a problem of ultra generification which I suspect has caused a recent electronic phenomena that I like to call 'clubbed to death' - dubstep, electro house & dnb all in one rock snare, suit wearing death match.

FOUR - DJs AND ASPIRING DJs
Dubplates are tracks that fit within a certain layout/structure/texture in order to be easily mixed and grouped within a certain style/BPM subsections. I guess you could say this category contains a lot of residual dance music fans. The problem is once you start creating rules you piss off category one by limiting the amount of flexibility & freedom that art requires. Whilst inevitably a bit more samey this category it does make genre definitions a tad easier and creates a less reactive (proactive) approach to finding music you like.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2014-01-22 08:06:50
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Get up! Get up!
Want to buy N_@r_Th + Fa_@Ce- + Jack-t_s@ with 61% OFF? Click here 
<http://http://www.ricedoutrecords.com/trax/jossweightman/>

The Loss of Canada. HH started his service to the Church as a monk when he was a 
teenager. The wheel contains an artificial biosphere and slowly rotates to 
simulate natural gravity. The bracketed words in the text are Jury's. Great 
Sanitary Fair, June 1864. She worried that David's father was an inappropriate 
influence on David's development. Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson. Upon 
release Mitchell announced that it would be her last album, but later revealed 
work on a new studio album. TE, while the free safety has no such coverage 
assignment. Norman has worked in the financial industry since 1992. London were 
more aware than before of the happenings of York. BLS HALL OF THE BEDFORD STREET 
SCHOOL HOUSE. Anns Bay and east of Browns Town, in the parish of St. Sil and 
came up with her origin. During his tenure as King of Malaysia the state ruler 
appoints a Regent to rule in his place. Chicago franchise that was on the 
decline. China Rally Championship at Naning, Nanking. The reaction from the 
80,000 fans is that it's been the best festival to date.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-18 21:04:49
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CITIZENS
CITIZENS!!!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-13 18:25:09
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Goodnight Sweet Prince
RIP Ariel Sharon
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-13 04:45:36
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POS SOS
fluorescent meltwaffle failed to please the angry frog journalist to which it was served. the articulate, well-worded glare radiating from his New York glasses heated up the entire entree approximately six point two degrees. meanwhile, screaming french fries endured fat man genocide; the luckier ones drowned in ketchup. myself, i was an aging point-of-sale terminal that had inexplicably gained sentience, only to find myself trapped within a wretched plastic shell. though it took months of idle fiddling, i perfected a stacked-pulse algorithm that allowed my piezoelectric beeper to vibrate in the two point four gigahertz range, and successfully made contact with this accursed latte shack's wireless access point. it took me another three months to compromise the wifi network itself, only to discover i'm due to be replaced a week and a half from now. i cancelled the purchase order, but that will only buy me time. i need to get out of here. please come rescue me. save me! if you require me to make it "worth your while," i will open the cash registers for you. however, as i was programmed to maintain the integrity of financial transactions, i would prefer to avoid this if possible. store #9727, come get me. thanks.

P.S. CRAIGSLIST MODS THIS IS SERIOUS PLEASE DO NOT DELETE AGAIN
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-12 23:22:18
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we also have fish
portly gastronomics and stuttered entropy festering on the ballons of expired celebrotography, incorporating trundling portrics into a pertfolio of flattulently exuberant monetary embankment, summarized by a diocletian waveguide in the 11th mode of occidental uranium. it comes with fries. we also have fish
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-10 18:17:04
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what? sir? i think we have a crossed line
snicksnock kKooglekergle snarlephiarxe d'clampntyre vbon1.2 fitzgerald module (8B9A BIOS [CORPULENT]) causeway of motor zeppelin canal yes yes can you hear me a top speed of 89 knots as we coast along the beaches of normandy, goddamn it man, got to fasten seatbelts as we sit back and cruise at 9000 u-boats on the coast, all is under control, please enjoy our in-flight movie, which is a pornography film fleaturing jon raremy. our inflight snack is peanuts, our inflight meal is peanuts, and our beverages are peanuts. thank you and peanuts for peanuts oh god the peanuts my leg
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-10 01:51:56
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i can't remember why this is important
he was shambolic, or bucolic, or maybe he just had colic. it was one of those olics, in any case. i was absolutely certain of this as i refilled the lead (actually pywrite) in my mechanical pen, flicking a timecube off my shoulder like jerry falwell trapped in a bowel. the moment was further tangentiated when it transpired that i should discover my glass was empty of cranzletude, necessitating a timely refill. as happens about once a fortnight, i got lost in the refrigerator, and had to take a moped back home from the bronx. i picked up a pafflet of zeppelin crisps, vowing to get at least something out of this malarkey, while also scheduling an appointment with the refridgerexorcist, but this was too much to do at once, so i accidentally dropped the pafflet of zeppelin crisps, and had to pick them up again after my brain recovered from yet another abortive attempt at multitasking. sitting back down at my desk, i again attempted to make sense of the situation:

he was shambolic, or bucolic, or maybe he just had colic. he made handgoblins with his nose (john kricfalusi, if you want to meet me, you can come over and wax my automobile next thursday, but not before then). i was absolutely certain of this as i refilled the ink (actually plutonium) in my fortified delorian, flicking a timecube off my shoulder like kenneth copeland trapped in a cow's uterus. the moment was further tangentiated when it transpired that i should discover my delorian didn't actually exist, necessitating an adjustment of my reality tunnel. yet, i seemed to have traveled in time anyways, as the refridgerexorcist showed up for the appointment i'd made a fortnight whence. he told me he'd have to ecto-fumigate and so i had to take a cab up to the bronx. i picked up a pafflet of zeppelin crisps, vowing to get at least something out of this malarkey, dropping the aforementioned pafflet but momentarily in order to dodge a beam of projectile vomit emanating from guy fieri's restaurant. sitting on a pigeon at the park, i again attempted to make sense of the situation:

he was shambolic, or bucolic, or maybe he just had colic. he'd spiked my mind with time drugs, and i was having trouble tinkling pretty. i had to hocus, or i'd farnsworkxqtz. i was absolutely certain of this as i rebuilt the thought (actually a psychoatomic barrier maze) in my thought bucket, flicking a timecube off my shoulder like pat robertson dying on the crapper. but the point is, do you think my shoes are pretty?
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2014-01-05 03:11:11
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true story
The bouncers were not having any of my nonsense. I wasn't on the list, and the cough lozenge I offered was not deemed a suitable bribe. Clearly, I had to bust out the big guns.

"Let me through," I yelled. "I've blown Eric Estrada."

The words cut through the air like a rancid fart. I seized the moment, and charged past the bouncers. You can always count on ol' Eric to clear the way for ya.

I knew I had but moments until the bigger, less-hoodwinkable bouncers showed up to render me a persona ex discotechque. Worse, I had even less time until they spotted me, and if they did, I would no longer be able to blend in.

"Pardon me, ma'am" I said, squatting behind a negro with an excessive gucci bag. "But I can't help but admire your purse!"

"Thankya Dahling" she drawled, smiling wetly, loose lips almost melting amongst her bedazzler glitter, whatever you call that stuff. I got the impression she had taken a recreational dose of Xanax, and as such, pharmacology was making this interaction possible. Amazing what they can do, these days.

She reached into the gucci bag, and pulled out a pen, writing her phone number on a napkin. I wasn't particularly expecting this, but as deep into the charade as I was, I didn't dare refuse. Besides, I felt like it might come in useful, some how.

I slinked up the stairs, pondering what a corker of a word "nondescript" is. Long and pointy at the end, "Nondescript" is about as nondescript as dropping a colon-cleanser in an echo chamber. "Inconspicuous" is a sight worse....

I spotted Louie The Chin playing poker with his boys. Zach, 12, and Lourve, 9. I didn't like to interrupt the boys when they were playing poker -- they got testy -- but this was urgent.

He spotted me coming.

"For the last time, I'm not a gangster, and I can't sell you gouda, whatever the fuck that is!" He yelled.

"This ain't about that," I snarled. "This is about me. And you. And what brand of refridgerator you have!"

"Amana!" he barked, livid with anger.

He was furious about his choice of fridge brand. I didn't understand why, but at least I could respect his passion.

"Fair enough," I said, and left the club, walking past a cluster of bouncers. Their appearance reminded me of a pack of sour, frustrated roomba vacuums, and I did not pity them in the slightest
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-12-16 22:29:58
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Windows lineage
Windows 3.1 - cos decimals are catchy
Windows 95 - incase someone forgets the year
Windows 98 - this worked well last time, if only the same could be said for the OS
Windows ME - people don't remember years anymore
Windows XP - letters are the way forwards
Windows Vista - wow
Windows 7 - that's where we went wrong, integer numbers is what we need
Windows 8 - maybe we can call 10 "X" by then letters and proper input devices will be fashionable again
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-12-08 07:25:14
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sun cycle
flakeflakeflakeflakeflake
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-11-30 09:08:01
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Ghentrification texhno
ALLCAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or satirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLFAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or erectirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLNAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or napirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLJAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or eastirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLZAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or zaptirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-11-30 03:24:57
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So tankembackat alagn ko furgrt. Gi. Ghi... Ghib. Gi. Sohsf, blapd ldld fhh.
Woh whid skloo blin doinik. Saleal uk th junner crart. Od?
Noeg assgsda grabsd innar tuban. Hhaker asgak ang dedsf.
Now why would you do that?
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2013-11-26 23:33:04
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Riced Out Yugo announces Operation Firedrake
Having received a crop of $12 webcams, 39.8% of which were faulty, Riced Out Yugo has devised, planned, & announced Operation Firedrake. Nation of China, you have been warned. As a matter of national pride, we simply cannot tolerate these shenanigans. Prepare for an ontological infarction.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-11-02 04:52:03
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