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EMAIL WAS INVENTED IN 1892 BY CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS AFTER HE PUNCHED HIS WAY OUT OF HIS COFFIN. HE'D HEARD CHUCK NORRIS WOULD BE BORN EVENTUALLY, AND WANTED TO START A VIRAL EMAIL ABOUT THE THINGS CHUCK NORRIS COULD KICK THE ASS OF, BUT HE NEEDED EMAIL TO DO THAT. SO, USING SPIT, STRING, AND THE SECRET INCREDIENT (PAINFUL FUCKING HATE) CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS FORGED THE FIRST SMTP SERVER IN THE FIRES OF MT. AOL. OF COURSE IT WAS OF LITTLE USE UNTIL THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED BUT CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS HAD IT FIRST
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