In a shocking and unexpected display of violence, wrestler Chris Benoit, the "Canadian Crippler," has unleashed a shocking and unexpected display of violence.
"The 'Crippler' was such a kind, loving lad," said his friend and fellow wrestler The Outback Psycho. "Gentle as could be, always willing to listen."
Police are baffled. "Wrestlers are not types known for violence," said district attorney Scott Ballard, "and we are completely confused by his actions. Since we have no answers, we will blame drugs, as they are obviously the cause of everything wrong with the world. They even caused my outrageously high electric bill."
Ballard refused to comment as to whether Benoit had a vendetta against the manufacturer of the gym equipment with which he elected to hang his sorry carcas.
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