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brandson bandishment vs. bizzled cheef
BAILIFF: All rise!

BAILIFF: Department Forty-Two of the Ricedior Court is now in session. Judge Watnik presiding. Please be seated.

JUDGE WATNIK: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Calling the case of Brandon Bandishment versus Bizzled Cheef LLC. Are both sides ready?

COUNSELOR LOU: Ready, Your Honor.

COUNSELOR VLAD: Ready for the defense, Your Honor.

[tape fast-forwards]

COUNSELOR LOU: Did you, Brandon Bandishment, along with your band, Brandon Bandishment and the Hoggs, play at the aforementioned establishment, when a dispute about the space-time continuum broke out?


JUDGE WATNIK: Yes or no, please.


COUNSELOR LOU: Did you refuse to continue performing your contractually obligated show over a dispute about pickles?

BRANDON BANDISHMENT: Our tour rider -- we explicitly said -- pickles can -

JUDGE WATNIK: Mr. Bandishment, please answer the question.


COUNSELOR LOU: No further questions.

JUDGE WATNIK: Does the defense wish to cross-examine the defendant?

COUNSELOR VLAD: Absolutely, your honor.

JUDGE WATNIK: Make so be it.

COUNSELOR VLAD: Mr. Bandishment, could you explain the conditions listed in your tour rider?

BRANDON BANDISHMENT: Most of it has to with equipment and set-up but we are very clear that we cannot, will not perform at any venue that serves pickles. Pickles interfere with the space-time continuum, which I need to bend to play the solo in 'Space Burrito. Most venues are perfectly happy compromise and suspend the sale of pickles for the duration of set, but The Bizzled Cheef rubbed pickles right up in our-

COUNSELOR LOU: Objection! Brandon Bandishment is engaging in puffery! No pickles were rubbed.

JUDGE WATNIK: Sustained.

COUNSELOR VLAD: What happened when The Bizzled Cheef refused to suspend the sale of pickles?

BRANDON BANDISHMENT: It utterly ruined my solo. Mr. Drucker's class ring fell right out of the space-time continuum and onto my guitar; the smell of pickles was everywhere
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2020-06-28 22:29:39
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