Riced Out Yugo
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As Joe Biden proudly inaugurates amongst tension, paranoia, and germs, Donald Trump is driving to Florida with a caravan of moving trucks. It's just about the point that Biden is getting to the Point about Forging A More Perfect Union, that Donald Trump is getting to the point where he is really, horribly bored. What a loser! This speech is boring. We need some fun.

"Jared," he says, turning to his son in law, Jared Kushner, who is diving the truck. "Hey, Jared."

Nothing has been said for 45 minutes (quite possibly a record!) and it takes a moment for Jared to snap-to.

"Yeah Dad?" Jared asks.

"Are we there yet?" the Donald inquires.

"Uhhhhh no," Jared replies. It's another, like, ten hours?"

Trump puffs up and fumes. Towers and leans in; his tiny mouth a pink diamond of rage. Kushner tenses for what he knows is coming.

"BULLSHIT!" Trump explodes. "IF WE'RE NOT THERE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, I'M THROWING YOU OUT THE WINDOW OF THIS TRUCK ASS... FIRST" Trump lunges forward between ass... and first... for effect.

The color drains from Jared Kushner's face. "Uhhh, umm, well, uhh, maybe, uhh..."

Trump decides to let him flounder for another twenty or thirty seconds before allowing himself to crack up.

"Ahaha, I'm joking, you're such a sucker, Jared. This is nothing like the time... or, well, times I threw you out of the limo."

"Ahaha, haha, yes, real funny dad," Jared manages

Suddenly... there is an explosion!

Jared, Trump, Truck, and all, are suddenly... underneath the street?

Before either of any can gather the few marbles between, the smiling visage of Joe Biden wafts up to the passenger window, mocking trump before even saying a word. then, adding insult to injury, he speaks

"TRUMP, you punk. I've come here to pull an Italian Job on your truck, to take back all the shit you stole from the White House before you left."


"ahAhAHAHAAA (sucka[1])" Biden yells, throwing off his suit jacket.

"That's not me being inaugurated -- that's my stunt midget"

Joe Biden then stands up to his true height of 9'9" tall. Jared Kushner has already evacuated unto his pants twice (and is effectively running on empty) but attempts a third for good measure
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-01-19 05:53:21
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