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Since their recent coup of Namibia, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have reportedly accelerated Namibia's efforts to enrich uranium. It is unclear as to whether Pitt and Jolie have the bomb, and if they will perform a public service and use it on themselves. The UN complained a lot, but didn't do shit as usual, the pussies. George Bush instructed the couple to "Bring it on," but it is suspected he thought he was quoting Fight Club. Iran is reportedly pissed that that they haven't even placed in the rankings of top news stories. It is rumored that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is having an affair with Condolezza Rice, but skeptics suggest these are mere rumors designed to generate publicity. More at 11.
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