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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| A Touching Tale | |
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This morning, seeking to cure a mild hangover with vigorous exercise, I tore through the garage in search of my bicycle. However, I was unable to find it. Later I would discover that quantum tunneling (or maybe one of the house-owners that used the garage) had moved it to the porch, but at the time it was mysteriously absent.
So, I dusted off my roller-blades, which I had a lot of fun with back in the day, but have not used in years, and tore off into the dawn. I fell a few times. I kind of expected this, due to my long absence from the sport. It is also, I suppose, kind of like skateboarding, in that losing some skin is part of the territory. One fall, I cut my left knee pretty good. It wasn't that serious, and as a youthful, vaguely reckless, non-OCD lad, I wasn't carring band-aids. What else was there to do but continue along? So I did, my wound oozing blood. Eventually I tired, and headed home. By this time, other people were starting to show up on the previously-deserted streets - yuppies walking small, fluffy dogs (otherwise known as fashion accessories that poop). By that time, my slow leak of bodily fluids had had plenty of time to do its thing. The sight of a lad rumbling by on rollerblades, left leg coated in blood, seemed to rattle them somewhat. I should do that every morning. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-06-08 07:23:00 | |
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| DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET? | |
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|---//----i--| |----\\-----|
-RICED out vsnares |XTREME TUBEZ|>> DANCE LIKE YOUR SELLING NAILS Â |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-08 05:01:00 | |
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| do you still remember? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
101. |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-06-07 19:28:00 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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furry nintendo 11111111111111 DIRTY NINTENDO 017777777777 qvegl avagraqb 0x7fffffff qEgVL avRAQaGb 11111111111111 GvQel AVAgraqB 017777777777 ELgVq vaGRabAQ 0x7fffffff ________++++++++++________ _______+__-_______+_______ __==__+___-__-_____+___--_ _____+___=_____=____+_____ ____+__-______-______+____ ___+______-_+_________+___ __+______________-_____+__ _+___________-__________+_ +_______-________________+ __+______+___+___-_____-__ _=_______=_____+____-__+__ ___+_+_______-_________+__ __+_______+______+________ __+_____+___________+_____ __+_______+______+________ ___+_+_______-_________+__ _=_______=_____+____-__+__ __+______+___+___-_____-__ +_______-________________+ _+___________-__________+_ __+______________-_____+__ ___+______-_+_________+___ ____+__-______-______+____ _____+___=_____=____+_____ __==__+___-__-_____+___--_ _______+__-_______+_______ ________++++++++++________ |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-06-07 19:19:00 | |
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| HYPERFUKBOT | |
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HYPERFUKBOT IS BAT FUCK INSANE HYPERFUKBOT IS ACTUALLY JESUS HYPERFUKBOT IS THE NEW YOU HYPERFUKBOT IS LIFESTYLE HYPERFUKBOT FIGHTS CANCER HYPERFUKBOT IS AGAINST TERRORIST HYPERFUKBOT IS AGAINST RACIST HYPERFUKBOT IS DOWN WITH DA CREW HYPERFUKBOT TELLS NO LIES HYPERFUKBOT SELLS NO PIES HYPERFUKBOT IS NOT ROUGHLY 3.14 YOU MUST INCLUDE AT LEAST 4000 DIGITS |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 17:43:00 | |
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| Half-Caste by John Agard (Revised Edition) | |
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Explain yuself Explain yuself an I will tell yu |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 17:39:00 | |
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| Quiet today | |
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Yes, there's been nothing apart from me since the RTQP cookie post. This is why today's Yugo's posts have consisted of 95% more bullshit. PS: EWRJJIEE'E# #'/;][FFFFFFFFFFFFF[49999832 4 09588888888 f88888888888888888888888888888888888888QQQQQQQ0 00sdgglokp65 i65 465654 fdggfgfd gfdgfgd ;;'#'# 000 333f dggig-943t#f'f sflp wworki |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 17:32:00 | |
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| SHIT, OVERLOAD - IT'S OVERHEATING. SOMEONE HIT THE EMERGENCY YUGO-OFF SWITCH. | |
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" alinkop:0px; width:327px; height:88px; z-indexitionôŒUOÃbÃœ ;õ†]‘x…!@³9hÈq»ïö½Ã'û!…ë2Þ;Óéâ*rÃœ ="000000" text="â€Ã”â€Ã¨ÃºF¶l.³Â[ m pÿ€T°´ÂTCx!¬±²¢K
0æ(Ó•òPÃŒ ²IÂâè›Úü³€1™ÃCÅ ^ø)´³_¯D6¸¯Æ€ á)\‰(òT¾œ• †,Ö‰ñžB†» ¢Ç†¬æght:88px; z-index:1"> ø&‘mÛß ÀþÃÕßæ*!9ýÃ…¨!™†-Âdokè7}R¤é({øÔ I&£a“"4ž®wÃÆCKy&YL4m` yÂ’ïüDô:oÙ%I"Zì÷%‰abs olnkposLayer1
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SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFF.i×ý* Puº–vô¤ÈÄK="E4DA3A" alink">
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 17:28:00 | |
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| The Great Hatsby | |
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The biggest mystery since the Q in RTQPs name. Now all the main hype has died down a little I think it's safer to touch this subject (a bit like 9/11). Who is Hatsby, why is he such a l33t h4x0rz, how many hatting bots does he run, where does he live? So many questions which will never be answered. I guess we can all live in hope. Your biggest, biggest fan, Mahjong. |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 17:24:00 | |
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| Internet data | |
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SALAD. Yes, that's right salad. None today though... it was done in about 5 minutes unlike the normal 30. Just thought that was a good opening word that's all. Ahhh, Riced Out Yugo - for the constantly active mind(s)... WE ARE REASONABLE PEOPLE *mneoowmenenneow. neow, neow*. Saturday = Hamblelame - woop. HAMBLELAME IS THE NEW HYPERFUKBOT HAMBLELAME MAKES ALL THE VILLAGERS CRY FOR H4X HAMBLELAME ;#][@?>,>,';øBV♦· HAMBLELAME IS 4 SATURDAYZ ONLY HAMBLELAME IS FOR SOCIAL ADVANTAGES I'm pretty sure the only one of those which isn't true is the first one. Usually 100% of ROY is truthful you know... fuck sake we get so many private messages, emails, and general Internet communicationz saying "LOL I DO NOT UNDERSTAND". Well ok, "LOL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?". The n00b see's not the same Riced Out Yugo that the wise man see's. Nah, I respect all your attempts and such - especially that Sparky guy from the Internet tube. I'm loving all these new features on Yugo like "YUGO VIDEO" - now that's exciting viewing. Got to get some of the Mahjong archives up on that soon. Stay tuned folkz. dddddqqqq23 |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 15:35:00 | |
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| Dear RTQP | |
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I speak for myself and the rest of the Yugo staff when I say that pay this month has been at an unacceptable low. Decent living standards could not be maintained and I had to resort to buying budget brand cookies, BUDGET BRAND. I lost contact with HYPERFUKBOT a few days ago when he had resorted to selling CD-Rs of Dr. Dre albums on the street... I fear for the worst that he has been killed by some Tupac fans. Fuckle hasn't been seen for days either but the last I heard was he had been living off pop tarts... I also fear for the worst. As for myself again, the budget brand cookies have nearly run out and food supplies are getting extremely minimal. Riced Out Yugo is NOT a communist organisation so please increase the wages higher than $10 an hour. gdfoiuhgfd087 the rats are coming. I MUST DEFEND THE COOKIES. INCREASJHOIUE WTHE WATGFBES.WGANTM FKLSD;F09 |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 15:01:00 | |
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| I'M BISEXUAL | ||||
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-07 14:43:00 | ||||
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| What kind of asshole doesn't have chocolate chips? | |
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Chocolate chip cookies are a common fixture in American society. Even if one does not generally eat them oneself, cookies are often made for new neighbors, friends, and neighbors/friends that called the fire department while you were shopping at fucking Ikea, but left the stove on. Furthermore, even if one does not make COOKIES, chocolate chips are used in a vast variety of recipes. I daresay they are a basic food ingredient, much like butter or flour.
So, as I tore through cabinets at four AM in this house I am currently staying in, I was dumbfounded when all I managed to find was a small handful of chocolate chips, not even enough for a half-batch. You may wonder if the supply was merely exhausted before the next shopping trip, but shopping had been done this very day. I found myself asking: what kind of asshole doesn't have chocolate chips? I went to my inter-net machine and attempted to a-locate a store open 24 hours, only to find that NOTHING is open before 7 AM in this bumfuck suburban shithole. No doubt I will be reprimanded for having made noise whilst tearing through cabinets, and have no cookies to show for it. What DID I find, instead of chips?
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-06-07 03:32:00 | |
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| IT'S JUST LIKE, IT'S JUST LIKE - A MINI MALL | |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-06-06 10:29:00 | |
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| lol squarepusher | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-06-06 05:43:00 | |
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| Chapter 6: The weakness of Randall Banister | |
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For previous episodes in the Randall Banister saga, please go here, here, here, here, and finally here.
At great personal cost, I had finally managed to replentish my hip flask. How is a tale in and of itself, but it must wait for another day. Randall Banister's dastardly campaign was proceeding all too well for my tastes. After our discomforting hospital meeting, I had a-reviewed the footage of my attempt to storm his oratorical explusions. At the time, I thought I had tripped - as had the amassed crowd - but upon closer observation, I was shocked to find that this was not the case at all. As with all political extravaganzae, security at the event had been tight. At the entrance, I had been patted down by illegal Mexicans in order to ensure I was not Mexican, or carrying any weapons. Randall Banister, the sly dastard, had obviously been keeping one eye on the gates. As I had greased the palm of a guard with a crisp eight dollar coin to allow me to retain my sword, Randall Banister spotted me - then continued speaking as if nothing had happened. Moments later, he gave a hand signal - also unnoted by my person at the time - apparently launching a well-conceived contingency plan. He had turned my attempted confrontation into a token example of his purported, but ersatz, goodwill. Twice, Randall Banister had bested me: first by force, then by guile. This would be enough to cause an upswelling of dispair in most men, but I am the Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker. No one fucks with me, especially not when my hip flask is full. I had the lurking inclination to disregard his previous shows of massive force. Was it the full hip flask? Nay... I had the sense that, given his questionable ethics and general lack of gentlemanly demeanor, Randall Banister had not counted on me being the sort of man I was. Both times he had defeated me, I had plunged into the situation with little preparation or forethought. It was a natural reaction to his smirksome attitude and halitosic sting, but not a wise one. Though I had no evidence, I was all but certain he was not nearly as powerful as he appeared - merely disciplined, and used to dealing with drunken Reverends surging forth for revenge. I would have to outguile Randall Banister - carefully craft and execute my plan of revenge. The stakes were even higher now, however. Even the daftest of chaps would never plunge in thoughtlessly a third time, and Mr. Banister would know this. He would know that, if I struck again, it would not be without significant forethought and preparation. I briefly relished the idea of plunging in thoughtlessly a third time simply because it would be unexpected, but relented when I realized that this would not make a good story. Obviously, I could not strike at one of his rallies - they were far too well secured and regimented. I would have to surprise him at a more vulnerable time. His mysterious first victory over me had not been his direct doing, but rather had come by way of his mysterious bastard sword. It had seemed a blade of merely average quality, its first strike smarting, but not decimating. I suspected that, if capable of such devistation with every blow, he would not have dilly-dallied about - he would have simply done eradicated me with a single swing. You do not underuse force when you have plenty, especially when dealing with an unknown. In short, I suspected the crackling energy his sword had unleased was his trump card. I deemed it likely that he had shown the lighter side of his sword only because he severely [mis]underestimated my own stamina, and, well, you don't use your only nuke when a rifle will do. So, while I knew he could attack with such ferocity once, twice... or even thrice, it was like my hip flask, only good when charged. If I could isolate Mr. Banister from his security detail and survive the initial attacks, I would have a serious chance of victory. Upon this realization, my thoughts immediately turned to the downtown disco factory, in which Mr. Banister was a majority holder. If I could infiltrate it and lie in wait, I would have my chance. However, the disco factory would not be without significant defenses - it had survived numerous attacks by generations of hair metal vikings, punk punks, and cutting emos. I would be a fool to think I could simply haul my ass over the fence, as I did when jacking parishoners out of prison. I would need intimate knowledge of the layout and of the defenses. I would also likely need access codes, ducting maps, and a second hip flask. There was only one creature I knew of that could provide me with all of this: kitty. Though we had once been associates, our relations had soured, and our previous parting had most definitely not been amicable. I had no doubt he would give me audience, but he would not give me help for free. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-06-06 00:50:00 | |
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| Good evening | |
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.7 have a nice day. P.S. - I know about my missing booze. You will pay dearly. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-06-05 23:30:00 | |
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| HAX BUFFER | ||
CONTENTS:
and that's why i want to move to the netherlands, where, allegedly, no one looks twice if a college student hurls himself off a bridge while on mushrooms. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-06-05 23:22:00 | ||
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| helpful tables from the internet | |||||||||||||||||
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-06-05 21:27:00 | |||||||||||||||||
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| south central cydonia mensae | |
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man i was chillin in mah face on mars drinkin da booze when these .7 fuckerz came up so i had to get da gat they busted the door down so i popped out and i unloaded a full clip or two up in their face and it was all like BITCH DONT FUCK WIT A FUKBOT FROM DA PROJEFCTZ and then i kinda was like um ok and then it was like BANHABAGBNABNGAGBN
AGNBAGNBAGNB
AGN BAGN BANG BAN
G BANG BANG cuz da cops busted down the ddoor but i had my man pnrfne backin' my ass up and he was all like BITCHES WHAT CHOO DOIN and he popped some caps and it was all like bitches u be dead and then we went down 2 da mall and we wuz rollin down da skreet and like 240520306030 people were all like SHIEEET ITS HYPERFUKBOT and we were all like BITCHES YEAH YOU RIGHT ITS HYPERFUKBOT we wuz bumpin da ICE CUBE loud as fuck and the qqq bitches were all up on our shit and it was just YEAH BITCHES WE UP IN MARS ON THE FACE OF MARS AND WE GETTIN CRUNK. and then we went over to RTQP's house and we stole his booze but he never found out (don't tell him) omg hyperfukbot iz such an alcoholic MARS MUTHAFUCKA NARS NUTHAFUCKA NERS NUTHEFUCKE NEQS NUTHEFUCKE NEQS NUTHEZUCKE NEQS NUTHEZUPKE NEQS NUTHEZUPRE NEQS NULHEZUPRE NEQS NULTEZUPRE goin once goin twice DONT FUCK WITH .5 DONT FUCk WITH .5 |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-06-05 15:54:00 | |
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