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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| re: word up | |
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I'm a mentalist Pissed. In the snow mist, You know you can't handle this Yeah that's right Chris |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-21 15:45:00 | |
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| word up | |
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i'm a mentalist dentalist lincoln continentalist wrap up, deliver my complimentary breakfast don't gip me on donuts or i'll jive your jib upside the head stiff me on syrup you'll wish you were dead i'm a playa fileter dr. dre slaya if wat were a city i'd be da mayah* the marigold factory be more than satisfactory dynamic clam interlock marigold refactory Are you down with Dr. Hat's Marigold Factory? *mayor. excuse my funky-fresh hip hop parlance |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-20 19:28:00 | |
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| DID YOU KNOW, I BET YOU FUCKING DIDN'T KNOW | |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-20 15:44:00 | |
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| This is not a conspiracy | |
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"That's not a conspiracy" I said to the director as he swiftly removed the pile of paper stacked on the desk. "Well, it damn well looks like one James" He mumbled while drinking some coffee. "I assure you there were no bats involved, just Yugo and some plan white paper - it's quite the rage these days". "Fine, fine. What's that radio mic doing over there?" I glanced over the far corner where there was a small hole. I didn't reply but just wandered over to the hole inspecting where it had come from, I could have sworn it wasn't there before. I looked down... it seemed to go on for miles. What IS this? I thought to myself. Oh well better go for it... I attached a long peice of rope to the supply cabinet. It was Steve that helped me do it, was that his name... I'm not sure anymore. I lowered myself down into the abyss - sinking further and further down until all the light was gone from my surroundings and I couldn't feel anything. It was getting colder and I couldn't breathe... I wanted to turn back, maybe get myself back up somehow but there was no turning back now - it was now or never mate, see the grand oracle once and for all. It would all be over after this anyway, what was I ranting about? I wasn't sure... What was that noise? |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-19 19:49:00 | |
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| OMGWHAT??? | |
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OS/2, HEADERIMG, MSN, SCREEN, PIXELS, PLASTIC, DARKNESS, SHADOWS, CURTAINS, BEAMS, WALL, PLASTER, HOUSE, OUTSIDE, ROAD, STREET LAMPS, AIR, TOWN HALL, SUPERMARKET, MAIN ROAD, NORTH... IS IT NORTH? I'M NOT SURE BUT MY MIND IS TRAVELLING SO FAST I CAN'T STOP IT. CASTLE, COUNTRYSIDE, MOTORWAY, LIGHTS, LIGHTS, LIGHTS, FOLLOWING THE LIGHTS SO QUICKLY. ON, RAIN SAMPLES, MICROWAVE SAMPLES? I'VE TRAVELLED ALONG THE ROMAN ROAD TO THE DEPTHS OF MY DEPRESSION - THE ORIGIN. BEGINS WITH C, BUT THE SERIES OF TUBES IS A PLACE OF MUCH BROADCAST... IT MUST BE SECRET, SOMETHING IN MY MIND SAYS IT MUST BE SECRET/// WHAT WAS HER NAME NOW, I HATE TO SAY IT - IT'S SOMETHING WITH AN A BUT THAT'S ALL IN THE PAST NOW - LET'S TRAVEL ON. FLIP AROUND THE DIRECTION, 90 DEGREES? OK THAT'S FINE... THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE, THE HAPPY PLACE ALONG THE ROAD AGAIN. TREES, NOISES, BACKGROUND, NIGHT, CROSSROADS, LEFT? YES. ONWARDS, ONWARDS UNTIL THE Y JUNCTION - TURN RIGHT. GETS BUSY HERE, BUSY TRAFFIC, FAST CARS, DANGEROUS ROAD, TURN LEFT, INTO THE PLACE, TURN RIGHT. IT'S THE PLACE OF SINS? THAT'S WHERE IT FIRST WENT WRONG J-... MAHJONG, IT'S THE PLACE OF LAST SUMMER? STRANGE HOW THINGS TURN OUT EH? I CAN'T TRAVEL IN MY MIND ANYMORE, I'VE GOT A MESSAGE IN THE REAL WORLD. MSN FROM RTQP. MUST DASH. - BY PUKE FROTH (AKA: MAHJONG THE WISEST) |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-19 19:33:00 | |
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| Hello | |
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So here I am, 1am - sitting in a dark room with only my laptop as a source of light... the fan subtly making noise in the corner of the room. I look at the colours on the screen, "Ceephax Acid Crew" - headerimg is quiet a genius of creation. I wonder to myself... what is the meaning of it all, why am I even still up? I know that in the short term future and probably the long term it's going to be a bad decision. Of course the meaning of society, THE system, life, education and social climate. If only everyone was as simple and understandable as Yugo... we'd be living in a dream world. |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-19 19:23:00 | |
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| crackberry whackout | |
| hi hutys imm at eh airoirt thewy say blackberrries r havin trbl but mine works fien and they rnt rspndaing 2 emaisl or foen CKALs, thitang k dier phoenz mieghts 2 b teh borarken? netways, should i hoWEme teh b if malarky duringo doesnta storm conditions. piece | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-19 12:16:00 | |
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| the following images are probably not safe for work | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-19 12:11:00 | |
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| EEEEEEEEEEEEE | |
| I <3 EEEEEEE I <3 EEEEEEE I <3 EEEEEEE I <3 EEEEEEE I <3 EEEEEEE I <3 EEEEEEE I <3 EEEEEEE | |
| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-18 19:01:00 | |
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| angry techno breakcore party!!! | |
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BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH SCHRREEECH SCRRECCCH BANG SNAPSNAP CLICK BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH ANGSTY ANGRY BREAKCORE TECHNO PARTY!!!1 SCHRREEECH SCRRECCCH BANG SNAPSNAP CLICK BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH BANG BANG BANG BANG SCREECH |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-18 12:36:00 | |
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| rtqp also writes some fiction | |
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i cruised slowly down the suburban streets, at a speed i would consider "unusually polite" in light of my normal habits. the opening bass exporations of amon tobin's "golfer vs. boxer" wafted from my stereo.
then, BAM: it hit me. socioeconomic watology. clinical infomatology. the possibilities were simply limitless. this is why you stop and smell the roses. the roses having been smelled, i downshifted to second and pulled my car into a tight curve, narrowly avoiding the curb, but failing to avoid a "children playing" sign some poor sap had mistakenly left in the street. i laid down a patch in its place and headed towards the interstate. i intended to make it to poland by sundown. "Poland?!" the clerk cried. "You can't drive to Poland... you gotta fly there!" "well," i said, "i'd prefer to drive there, if that's alright with you." he stared at me incredulously for a moment, and reached his conclusion. i triumphantly waited for my directions to poland. "GET OUTTA MY GAS STATION!!" he bellowed. "wat" i muttered, startled. he leaned foward to smack me, but having muttered the holy word, i was safe. one fell down from the sky and dashed him to the ground, incapacitating him. i grabbed a Chocoloco (tm) bar and headed towards the door. "payment is in the safe," i said, in case he was still conscious. it wasn't and he wasn't. the safe had dealt him such a buffet on the head that he no-longer was concerned with candy thievery. it was utterly critical that i reach poland by sundown. at this point there ensued a few hours of trials of the soul so foul and odious i would wish them on no man. but at last, i stood at the door of poland. i stepped in. there was a desk, with a clerk at the desk. "is this poland?" i asked. "Why, yes, this is stu's house of poles. What sort of pole are you looking for - barber, fire, stripper... other?" i stared at him blankly. "how many poles are there in poland?" i demanded. "Well," he replied, "we have over 30,000 poles in stock." "and what is your favorite pole?" i queried. "Well..." he began, pausing to think, "I'd have to say catalogue number 34-E10, the platinum ridged dancing pole... some fond memories, you know." i nodded, understanding. then i turned around and left. this was obviously a false poland, designed to mislead me. an ersatz poland existant merely to trick me into following the wrong path - the path of platinum ridged dancing poles. i would get revenge someday on this foul and godless establishment, someday. for now, however, i needed to find poland. say, do you know where poland is? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-18 07:05:00 | |
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| data from the internet | |
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isles AN NNS islet AK VB islington AC NN ism AC NN ismail Ax NN-NNP ismeri Dm NNP-NNS isn AM VBP iso Bb NN-JJ-NNP iso14001 AT CD iso9000 AT CD isobutane AC NN |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-18 06:30:00 | |
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| partly cloudy with 20% chance of mass murder. | |
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the weather is the only thing to look forward to the only place they wont talk about the dead only cold fronts and upper level lows countrywide is on your side abc tells me that more insomniacs get their news from abc news america turns to who for answers? gun control is a bingo game played in the sky got a story to tell, call brian williams magical smile, veternarian, ryan the tuba player when a child dies, a universe of possibility and unequated proponates of harm towards others dies as well. most probably had it coming. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-18 03:43:00 | |
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| please note this is fiction? | |
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I'm not sure what possessed me to get out of bed that night. What caused me to jump into my Civic and drive to my old elementary school. Perhaps it was the article I read on the rotten.com library regarding school vandalism. Perhaps I was feeling particularly spiteful after losing my job for failing a piss test. Who knows, but when I pulled into the parking lot with my lights off, I knew was going to cause someone a whole great deal of misery and pain.
I took a quick walk around the perimeter of the school. Schools are weird places when no one is around. Everything is frozen in time, nothing moves, no sound is made. Luckily this school sat at the end of a quiet street away from the prying of eyes of whatever insomniac may be up at two am. I went to this school for six years, now almost fifteen years later I still knew the basic layout. There was a sidedoor slightly obscured, I tried kicking it in. I kicked at that door at least five times. In frustration I pulled at the handle and it opened with no difficulty. In my hasty attempt at breaking and entering I didn't bother to check to see if the door was unlocked. I stepped into the dark hallway and saw the door that led down to the boilers and janitorial area. I clicked on my keychain flashlight and looked around for things. A cheap cassette player and FM radio, mousetraps, a microfridge with a six pack of Bud Light and several bottles of high strength drain cleaner. Active ingredient? Sulfuric acid. I looked out beyond the boilers through the dirty windows at the playground. Tomorrow kids will be playing on it before school, during recess and at lunch. I grabbed a pair of industrial gloves and five bottles of the drain cleaner and walked out the door I came in, across the cement playground to the junglegym equipment. I opened up one of the cans a little too close to my face, the fumes wafted up over my face. The sting and burn made me drop the bottle at the bottom of a slide where the liquid collected and began to strip the color from the molded plastic. Spasmatic coughing and tears streaming from my eyes, panic almost took over as I thought I had fucked myself over something good, but it all passed in a few minutes. I shielded my face and opened the second bottle, climbing up the steps, I pour the viscous liquid on the handrails, on the plastic 'tic-tac-toe' game, across the plastic flimsy bridge, and on the top of the slide. Watching the clear liquid seep its way down the slides was the best part. Kids are fucking stupid and will probably slide down the slide with anything on it. Here's to hoping they like going down face first. I splashed the rest of the liquid across the monkey bars, on the seats of the swings and on the seats of the benches. I collected all the bottles I brought with me and returned them back where I found them, hung up the gloves on their hook and closed the door behind me. I drove back to my house slowly, wearing my seatbelt. When I got back home Rumble in the Bronx was on TBS. I woke up to see this on my homepage: Boy Hospitalized for Burns After Using Playground Equipment Doused With Drain Cleaner At least someone got hurt. I guess. I'm a fucking failure. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-16 00:57:00 | |
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| A P A O T S A T D? | |
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Things needed for mission: 1 wing nut your feminine side cold, intense gaze 7 years bad luck Department of Weights and Measures 1974 Handbook Phrase handbook: Kollox owkej? (Does this come in purple?) Jekk jogħġbok (She was afraid to come out of the locker) Għeluq sninek it-tajjeb (How much for an eightball of cocaine HCl salt?) Tista' tgħinni jekk jogħġbok! (I'm about to fuck you up, nigga!) Perdeim: €7,625 and prepaid Diner's Club Card, found in the right front pocket of your seersucker jacket. Remember you're representing us while abroad. Recover the cipher, the woman and the car filled with petrol and recieve more crack. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-16 00:24:00 | |
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| the post-beginning | |
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I was the Pope's Elite Doped Out Assassin, and I was waiting for the walk light at a crosswalk. A crosseyed young lad who couldn't have been but 3.27 posed a question to me:
"Did you lose your earlobe in the war, mister?" "No, son," I replied with a chuckle, "I lost it in the third round against Tyson." While he'd been asking his question, however, I had used my spy-umbrella to inject a pellet of pure holy spirit into the diplomat waiting there as well. Always use enviornmental situations where you can. All was going according to plan. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-16 00:19:00 | |
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| the beginning | |
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he roped me in by blackmailing me with audio tapes of my confessions and then got me addicted to china white.
i became the pope's elite doped out assassin. and i fought crime - against god. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-16 00:12:00 | |
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| it's the thought that counts. | |
| i was disappointed when i realized the microphone i had been speaking into was not plugged in. but then, i suppose, it's the thought that counts. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-15 23:12:00 | |
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| chunky bacons | |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2007-04-15 17:29:00 | |
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| YOU WILL GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR POLISH SAUSAGE, OR ELSE | |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-15 14:53:00 | |
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