- Fred Upton is a manly man.
- Fred Upton is not an angry man.
- Fred Upton is not a spiteful man, nor is his liver diseased.
- Fred Upton puts on his loafers before his underwear.
- Fred Upton acknowledges God as the son of Jesus.
- Fred Upton knows not to buy food before the freshness date has passed.
- Fred Upton would never take a bribe, especially from lobbyists.
- Fred Upton believes net neutrality could cripple the internet.
- Fred Upton believes that net neutrality would stifle innovation.
- Fred Upton wants you to know that telecom companies care about human dignity.
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