Riced Out Yugo
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Schmuck q. Schlimazel and the Ten Kilowatt Bagel
"Ow!!" yelled Schmuck q. Schlimiel at the giant bagel, rubbing his zapped ass gingerly. "That fucking hurt!"

Schmuck q. Schlimiel then proceeded to give the Ten Kilowatt Bagel a piece of his mind, expressing his hopes that the following things would happen to it:
  • It would recieve a gift it did not want, and have to pay a restocking fee upon returning it.
  • That it would lose the ability to sweat everywhere except its armpits, so it was always sweltering and still had to use deoderant.
  • That it go on a low-carb diet for months, only to discover it was also high-calorie.
  • It would lose its job, yet still be under contractual obligations.
  • That it would hire a lobbying company, only to find it was owned by Jack Abramoff.
  • That it would purchase the world's most expensive hairpiece, only to have its hair grow back.
  • That it spend a month to let to level 99, only to discover the game merely looped back to level 01 (and reset its score)
  • That it would pay handsomly for a customized car, only to find it was a yugo.

The Bagel zapped him again.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-06-21 12:24:00
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